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Heavenly Truth

depth astrology

Month

September 2013

Resisting Resistance

Note: The death and rebirth process is something that can be applied to Scorpio, the 8th house, and/or Pluto in our chart. Where you have any of these symbols is the place in your life where the phoenix resides.

My best friend and I like to have fun together, and by fun, I mean sit across from each other and try to make each other cry. Not by insulting each other, or anything involving pinching, but with armchair therapy. She is the only person I've ever met that can actually match, and possibly exceed, my stamina for relentless self(and other)-examination. I have five planets in my 8th house, and two of those planets are my Sun and Moon in Virgo, so the core of me is recharged by Looking Deeply and Figuring It Out. With four planets in Libra, I like to have insightful feedback.

So there we are today, sitting across from each other, me on my second mocha, and she asks me if I want to talk about Fall. I had made a casual statement earlier about being surprised at how hard this year's approach of Fall has been for me, since my official stance is that I Love Fall and Always Have. I've been feeling so vulnerable with the approaching winter and the cold that it just makes me want to, metaphorically and physically, curl up into the fetal position. Since nothing is ever casual with her (it's one of the things I love about her), she had detected that there was much to discuss and prodded.

"Do you think that maybe this year you're feeling too tired to deal with the 8th house?" she said.

"Huh?" I was getting stuck on the word tired. And her bringing up the 8th house. "What do you mean, specifically?"

She speculated that while I've been going through some mid-life transitory stuffs that perhaps the invigoration I normally have during Fall is absent and making the transition of Fall into Winter too emotionally overwhelming.

"Why are you linking this to the 8th house?" I said.

"You are Fall," she said. "You live your life perched on that sharp, narrow edge of transition. That's why you love fall, because Fall is home. But that home is hard. Do you think you've had so much hard this year that you're too tired to live the 8th house this Fall?"

To me, living the 8th house means to continually dive deeply into yourself, to search for your own personal truth even if it scares you and threatens to undo you at times. I have been searching hard this year for meaning and its corresponding direction so I felt I hadn't stopped using the 8th house muscles.

"Well, it depends on what you mean by the 8th house, which, of course, means a number of things. I think maybe you are referring to the part of living the 8th house where I Fuck Shit Up."

 

Green warrior fairy elfwood - gerlinde

green fairy by d gerre

I occasionally fuck shit up intentionally. I take something that appears to be working just fine and break it. Not by causing needless drama or in order to hurt others around me, but to upend my life to bring about needed change that cannot happen if I try to do it in a contained way, gradually or safely. Destroying and going down in the flames so that I can rebuild it properly. Initiate a drastic and mostly irreversible change and then live through the consequences it provokes, knowing they are coming.

 

Whether I do it on purpose or in response to a crisis in my life, there eventually comes a moment when I accept that I cannot outrun what's chasing me. And it's that moment that I'm able to summon the power to turn and draw my knives. I want it to come. I want it to devour me. I lean into it. I may have a warrior stance but I don't defend. I stand in its way. It consumes me as I consume it. And when it burns through me, I am the next me, raw and clean.

That's living the glory part of the 8th house. But those moments are moments. The bitch is the build up. When you're starting to molt, and it itches, and you're pissy and your life looks like shit, or at least, one part of it. Although there have been mini upheavals, the last time I really fucked shit up was four and a half years ago, when I quit my day job. My life isn't perfect, but I haven't needed to upend things for a while because there's nothing in dire need of destruction. It's all Pretty Darn Good.

So how does an 8th house girl grow in an 8th house way without burning her house down? I more or less believe that when you ask a question and are truly open to the answer, it floats to the surface, even if you don't recognize it. When I asked the question tonight, the answer was compelled to present itself: resistance.

Resistance to leaving the house without your family because you might come home to find them all murdered. Resistance to letting your family drive somewhere without you just in case that was the one time that your magical presence would have stopped the car in the neighboring lane from side-swiping them. Resistance to creating that thing because it might not be good and if others see it, they'll know it. Resistance to saying what you think because someone might disagree with you. These are little opportunities for everyday rebirths. That's how to live the 8th house.

Resist the urge to give into resistance, to reluctance. I don't try to live without fear – I don't see how it's possible or authentic. I live with it. We all do. But it is not me. I don't have to hold it, caress it, and give it shelter. I can lean into it and let it rip right through me to the other side.

"So you can resist resistance. I like that," she said.

"Hey, I think that's the title of my next blog…"

Fall 2013 Forecast Highlights

Leaf on waterFall
seems inherently transitional, throwing our consciousness forward into a
preparational state. As summer ends, we know winter is on its way, and
to remain fully present in the moment is challenging. As soon as we're
done gazing longingly back at the bounty of summer (some of us longer
than others), winter's necessities loom in our mind and we're urged
toward making preparations. Mars enters productive, hard-working Virgo
on October 15th for about two months, emphasizing this mood and carrying
us almost to winter's door here in the northern hemisphere.

 

As
fall begins, so does another build up of the ongoing Uranus-Pluto
square, which will peak November 1st, with the new moon in
transformative Scorpio, the sign of the Phoenix, just two days later.
This energy has been present in varying intensities since the first one
in 2012, and the last one will peak next year. This three year period
has been one of not-so-gentle change, specifically pushing us toward new
beginnings and wrenching old attachments from us, sometimes before we
think we're ready. In whatever areas of your life Uranus (in Aries) and
Pluto (in Capricorn) touch, you are compelled, through internal need or
external necessity, to pioneer radical change.

 

I and numerous other astrologers have written and spoken
extensively about this Uranus-Pluto square period. Astrologer Jessica Shepherd has written a
stellar guide to work with this configuration on a personal level.
Check her out at moonkissed.com.

 

Man woman painting heartsWhile
these two are grating on each other, Venus and Mars will come along to
further electrify it, from November 12-16 and December 25-30,
respectively. With Venus, creativity abounds but the harmony of relationships may be (temporarily) disrupted to provide room for the spark; you may find yourself or your loved one a bundle of contradictions as you both struggle to determine just what it is you really need (and it's likely to surprise and/or frighten you if you can get brutally honest with yourself about it). When Venus turns retrograde on December 21st, you may find your relationship work needs to go deeper before it can move forward. Mars will be in Libra from December 7th and although Libra desires harmony, harmony cannot be achieved by continuity, so when it triggers the Uranus-Pluto square, feathers may be ruffled to say the least. Watch any unfocused or misplaced anger, either directed from or at you, as it can be a clue to what really is trying to force its way out.

 

The
bulk of November brings a small pocket full of planetary goodies, from
the 5th to the 25th, from Venus and Mars, perhaps stabilizing the growth
that the Uranus-Pluto square is pushing for. Four harmonious sextiles
form one after another: Venus sextiles Neptune from the 5th-8th, amping
up creativity and inspiration, and also just general good will. It’s a
good time for sweet things. A Virgo Mars sextiles Saturn at relatively
the same time, extending to the 11th, emphasizing a thread of
practicality and productivity throughout.

 

If
you need a little discipline, draw it in during the Mars-Saturn sextile
because as Mars moves on to sextile Jupiter from the 16th-21st, you may
not be in the mood for as much discipline. This can be a good time for a
mini-vacation in body or state of mind. Mars will still be in Virgo so
you may still find yourself inclined toward productivity, but aim it at
pleasure not just business, especially as the fourth sextile between
Venus and Neptune, takes hold from the 20th-25th.

 

Plant in handsJupiter in Cancer and Saturn in Scorpio form a cooperative trine through the first half of December which combines the best of both worlds: Jupiter's expansiveness, optimism, and attunement to the possibility and Saturn's discipline and realism. Grow what you love, let go of what keeps you small.

Astrologer’s Diary: Shaping the Self in the First House

Changes
are afoot.

 

2013-07-20 21.40.31

Embody the Self Amy Herring

When your job is to assist people in identifying
their soul potential and courageously moving toward it, you've got to be walking that talk. My lack of newsletters, facebook posts, and other offerings may have seemed like I've been absent, but in truth, I've been in my 'laboratory' where I hope to eventually be able to offer you many new creations. My progressed moon has been in the first house for two years now, urging me toward a new identity, but unlike I (unconsciously) expected, the outline has not simply waiting for me to step into it. I've had to craft it from the raw materials of self, and in Aquarius, there's been no template appropriate to follow.

 

2013-07-30 17.08.26

Nonself, Amy Herring

I expected that the 12th house period was the letting go and the 1st house
would be all about the new, and it is, but I underestimated the impact of the unfamiliar. In the 12th house, I sloughed an old skin. I had no
perspective on why it was happening, and had I not had the knowledge of
the purpose of the 12th house period, I would surely have gone mad–perhaps I did a little bit anyway. But
that was just the letting go part. In the first house, I find myself  having to clear away the
debris that dropped to the floor. One needs room to work, a clean slate, and in my case, it wasn't automatic. Instead of just one big sweep, it's been tempting to sift
through it and try to figure out what parts I can save, but that's all
been an attempt to cling to an old orientation and way of life, especially when the new one isn't just sitting there like a vessel waiting to be filled.

 

When last I posted about the 1st house, I was just entering it, and I shared some of my early observations. Having been moving through it for a while now, here's a few to add to the list:

It has been exceptionally challenging for me to produce anything concrete. Blog,
reading, video, class, lecture, book – these all feel like end
products, but I am still designing blueprints. I draw on the old model
whenever I can, whenever I must, but my libido is invested in this
self-making. Finishing anything takes an act of great will, one that I don't always muster. As a double Virgo with Capricorn rising, it's been challenging to my sense of self and self-esteem to not have anything "useful" to point to, to not have a stack of contributions that I've been offering. It has been very difficult to just embody the space, trust the process, and patiently reinforce to myself that it's enough.

The first house experience is about you taking up space, you crafting your own life, so I have to light my own flame. Continually. Often. Over and over. It often goes out. Momentum has been extraordinarily difficult to maintain, especially when the direction is unclear. It is not motivation, but meaning in order to drive motivation, that I've been needing to generate.

I've made what I feel like have been a number of false starts. I haven't signed up for the military or invested my life savings in any radical schemes, but I have been so hungry for direction that any inspiration, no matter how mild, sends me running off to catch it before it dissipates. It then becomes rapidly apparent that this is not the "start your new life kit" I'd been hoping for and I turn around and head back for the crossroads.

 

2013-08-22 20.44.50

Sunrise Mandala, Amy Herring

I signed up for a summer series of six classes offered by the Jung Society of Seattle on Creating Your Own Red Book (I have discussed the astrology of Carl Jung and his Red Book in previous posts). Carl Jung underwent a massive internal transformation which he documented in his black books and later compiled into the Red Book. During this series, we were introduced to methods and theories of Carl Jung that we could utilize to create our own 'red book', such as active imagination, mandala creation, dream analysis, and synchronicity. This series was profoundly helpful in giving me a 'container' in which to conduct this self-making. The drawings in this blog have all come from my own red book (although mine's blue).

 

 

The-Universe-Dusty-Path

 

A brief but rapid series of synchronicities prompted me to finally decide that the only thing missing was to apply a little perseverance to the path that I clearly wanted to walk down but kept second-guessing. I am on the Universe's mailing list (you can be too) and one day it said to me:


Usually, the best way to find the yellow brick road of your life, Amy, is
to start out on the dusty, dirt one.

And then let yourself become so
preoccupied in making the best of it, having fun, and challenging yourself that
you actually stop paying attention to the path.

Until, one day, not so
long from now, with a new best friend, wearing cool clothes, feeling awesome, a
teeny tiny bit taller, fresh from a WOW vacation, looking for the path you just
left, you'll notice that it's 24 carats… baby.

And you'll wonder for a
long, long time, sipping on some exotic fruit drink, when the transformation
actually took place…

Tripping, The Universe

 

Although I think it is always true, my awareness is constantly drawn up in the fact that I am perpetually unfinished. However, I think the fog is starting to clear. The outline is drawn, and now I am stepping into it, embodying it.

 

 

 

Related articles

A Page From an Astrologer's Diary: Progressed Moon Enters the First House
Carl Jung on Archetypes
Introverts, Extroverts, and Astrology
Happy Birthday Carl Jung! An Astrological Vignette

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